Murphy's Laws of Golf: Anonymous Collection

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

One good shank deserves another.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

It takes 17 holes to really get warmed up.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

One birdie is a hot streak.

If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just the way you meant to play it.

The odds of hitting a duffed shot increase by the square of the number of people watching.

To calculate the speed of a players downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap; i.e., backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph.

The statute of limitation on forgotten strokes is two holes.

It’s not a gimme if you’re still away.

The rake is always in the other trap.

Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right.

The rough will be mowed tomorrow.

The nearest sprinkler head will be blank.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

No matter how far its shaft extends, a ball retriever is always a foot too short to reach the ball.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

The only thing you can learn from golf books is that you can’t learn anything from golf books, but you have to read an awful lot of golf books to learn it.

You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.


Happy golfing!

~ follow @leejhl

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